ARIES

Estimated time in traffic: kasing tagal ng paghintay mong mahalin ka rin niya

TAURUS

‘Yung sweldo mo, basta-basta na lang mauubos. At ‘yung savings mo, konting-konti na lang!

GEMINI

Congratulations! You’re still in the running towards becoming Philippines’ next top procrastinator.

CANCER

You won’t be able to fight this feeling anymore. Hanap na ng banyo.

LEO

An old love will bump into you. Banggain mo nang mas malakas para makaganti ka.

VIRGO

Mapipilitan kang gawin ang isang bagay. Relaks, walang kinalaman sa diet.

LIBRA

The clock is ticking. And so are we.

SCORPIO

Trust your instincts. Kung feeling mo tumataba ka, siguro nga.

SAGITTARIUS

Sobra ang stress? Ibenta mo na!

CAPRICORN

May makakahuli sa ‘yo sa hindi mo dapat ginagawa: Ang mag-reply sa kanya. Sa presinto ka na magpaliwanag.

AQUARIUS

Don’t worry; be fluffy.

PISCES

Smile, though your socks are sliding (off).