What am I to him?

Dear Tita Witty,

Desparada na yata ako. I’ve been waiting for a boyfriend for a long time now. May matagal nang inaasar sa akin, ayoko naman siyang patulan nung una kasi di ko naman siya type. At saka asaran lang naman ‘yun. 

About a month after it all started, he texted me asking if we could go out..’Di ako pumayag nung una kasi may importante akong lakad with my family. He asked again after a few days and I agreed. I think we’ve gone out for about four times. ‘Di ko alam kung may spark ba pero masaya lang ako kapag kasama ko siya. He also asked me out last Valentine’s day. Ang saya lang kasi ang daming nangyari nung araw na yun and that was when I realized I was starting to like him. Kaso lang nagiging busy na kami sa work. Kumokonti na ang text until eventually nawala na. Tita, I miss him.  Every day. Tapos minsan may mga favor akong kailangan na ‘di ko naman diniderekta sa kanya but he volunteers to do them. I’m confused; I don’t know what I am to him.

So my question is: Do I have to confront him? O hayaan ko na lang at maghintay?

Salamat sa pagbabasa,

Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,

I will try my very best to break it to you gently. ‘Di ka niya bet, ‘teh. Ganun naman talaga ‘di ba? You go out on dates and see if you like each other, if it works out. In this case, that’s not what happened. I’ve said this again and again: being busy is never an excuse not to keep in touch with someone if you really like him/her. Dahil kung ganun, wala nang career-successful people na nagkaroon ng love life.

It’s also possible that it’s not him you like per se, but the idea of him. You said you’ve been waiting to have a boyfriend for a long time and maybe it just so happened that he was there kaya feeling mo “OMG thees ees eeeeet”. Maybe you just miss having someone around – ‘yung may ka-text, kasama, kabalitaan, kakampi, etc.

Don’t start thinking there is something wrong with you. Hindi lang talaga siya ‘yung para sa’yo. Parang MRT lang ‘yan: dumarating  sa tamang panahon.  And don’t ever think of yourself as desperate. Because that’s exactly how you will come off – desperate. Do you want men, or anyone for that matter, to see you that way?

As for the favors he’s been doing for you, maybe he’s just doing them because he’s simply a nice person. ‘Wag mo nang bigyan ng kulay ‘yun. Dyan tayo madalas nagkakamali eh. Pinagbuksan lang pinto, akala pinto na ng forever ang binuksan. Inalok lang ng food, akala inalok na ng kasal. Hindi ba pwedeng sadyang mabait lang sila?

And so to answer your question, no, don’t confront him. Chances are you’d make a big fool of yourself if you do. And no, you shouldn’t wait either. Move on, ‘teh, wala kang hinihintay. At hindi siya dapat hintayin. Lalaki lang ‘yan, hindi pizza delivery.

XOXO,

Tita Witty

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